Thailand thoughts

• Thai used to take 19.5 hours to fly from Los Angeles to Bangkok, with a stop in Tokyo, where you would get off and have your hand luggage searched by nice Japanese policemen!  They now fly nonstop using the new Airbus A340-500, in 'just' 17 hours, and a breezy 13 hours 50 minutes coming back.  The difference is supposed to be because of the jetstream, though my theory is that it's due to the direction of rotation of the earth!   Even with faster flight times, you cannot get over the 15 hour time difference, so you will have jet lag for several days when you get there, and when you get home.
   
• If you go to Thailand, the Thais will certainly wai you, from the time you step onto the Thai plane, at your hotel, in a restaurant.  (Hands together at chest height as if in prayer, head bowed)  A wai doesn't mean 'hello' and you should not wai back!   It's a sign of respect.  You should not wai people of 'lower social status' than you, or people younger than you, unless they happen to be monks or members of the royal family!  Don't wai doormen, flight attendants, or waitresses!  As you can see, the rules are quite complicated.  Best to not wai at all, but smile back politely, which is always correct.
   

• British English is always used in Thailand, in signs and newspapers.  'Cheque', 'colour', etc, and the first floor in a building is one floor up.  Unless you happen to be staying at an American hotel like the Marriott, in which case everything is spelled the American way, and the first floor is now the ground floor!  

• Thai is a difficult language, as it is tonal.  You cannot read Thai of course, as the alphabet is quite different.  Some Thai phrases are useful, like 'Mai pen lai', which means 'never mind' or 'that's OK'.   Thai people finish almost every sentence with 'ka' (spoken by a woman) or 'kap' (spoken by a man).  These words do not translate into English, but are a polite way to finish a sentence.  "If you please sir" is the closest I can get to it.  They like ka and kap so much, they will add them to English sentences, like, "Have a nice day kap", or "Your change ka".  

• In restaurants, eat your food when it is served, don't wait for everyone else to be served.  Food does not come for everyone at the same time, just when it's ready!  Drink only bottled water, even to brush your teeth (important)!   But take Immodium with you, as you will probably need it at least once.  Wear slip-on shoes (no laces), as you often have to take your shoes off, in temples, houses, and even some stores.  

• Almost everyone in Thailand seems to have a mobile phone.  There are 3,500 branches of 7-11, and in some cities a Starbucks on almost every corner.  In Haagen Dazs, you sit down and a white-coated waitress takes your order, then brings you a bill!  

• Driving in Thailand is not too difficult - they drive on the left, as in the UK.  At one time all of the road signs were in Thai, but now most have English translations also.  You would not want to drive in Bangkok - one wrong turn and you can be stuck in a traffic jam for hours!  

• Computers and cameras are more expensive in Thailand than in the US.  The best places to buy these are Hong Kong (good) or the Akihabara district of Tokyo (world's best), both an easy stop-off on the way to or from Thailand.  

• Police action:   I was once checking in for my return flight from Chiang Mai, and two girls from the hotel came running up to me, "Mr Robert, Mr Robert, you no pay for mini bar!"  They whipped a credit card machine out of their bag!    One night, a friend was very upset with a taxi driver who was very rude to his wife, and ended up punching him.  We were hauled off to the police station and the Chief of Police.  After some discussion, he held my friend's hand across his desk, and said, "You cannot do that in Thailand!"  The taxi driver apologized and we said we were sorry too.  In Thailand, anything can be resolved with a smile.